Example1
We built our business on great customer service
At the beginning at least, but then we realized we could make a lot more money if we kinda stopped caring about that. Our new strategy is to write a bunch of things that look really good in the headlines, then clarify in the small print but hope people don't actually read it.
Free shipping
It's not actually free we just price it into the products. Someone's paying for it, and it's not us.
10-year warranty
If it breaks in the first 10 years we'll replace it. After that you're on your own though.
Exchanges
If you don't like it, trade it to one of your friends for something of theirs. Don't send it here though.
Example2
Free Shipping
It's not actually free we just price it into the products. Someone's paying for it, and it's not us.
24/7 Customer Support
Our AI chat widget is powered by a naive series of if/else statements. Guaranteed to irritate.
Fast Shopping Cart
Look how fast that cart is going. What does this mean for the actual experience? I don't know.
Gift Cards
Buy them for your friends, especially if they don't like our store. Free money for us, it's great.
Example3
We built our business on customer service
At the beginning at least, but then we realized we could make a lot more money if we kinda stopped caring about that. Our new strategy is to write a bunch of things that look really good in the headlines, then clarify in the small print but hope people don't actually read it.
Free shipping
It's not actually free we just price it into the products. Someone's paying for it, and it's not us.
10-year warranty
If it breaks in the first 10 years we'll replace it. After that you're on your own though.
Exchanges
If you don't like it, trade it to one of your friends for something of theirs. Don't send it here though.
Example4
Free Shipping
It's not actually free we just price it into the products. Someone's paying for it, and it's not us.
24/7 Customer Support
Our AI chat widget is powered by a naive series of if/else statements. Guaranteed to irritate.
Fast Shopping Cart
Look how fast that cart is going. What does this mean for the actual experience? I don't know.
Example5
We built our business on customer service
Free shipping
It's not actually free we just price it into the products. Someone's paying for it, and it's not us.
10-year warranty
If it breaks in the first 10 years we'll replace it. After that you're on your own though.
Exchanges
If you don't like it, trade it to one of your friends for something of theirs. Don't send it here though.
Example6
Our perks
Free delivery
Order now and you'll get delivery absolutely free. Well, it's not actually free, we just price it into the products. Someone's paying for it, and it's not us.
10-year warranty
We have a 10 year warranty with every product that you purchase, whether thats a new pen or organizer, you can be sure we'll stand behind it.
Exchanges
We understand that when your product arrives you might not particularly like it, or you ordered the wrong thing. Conditions apply here.
For the planet
Like you, we love the planet, and so we've pledged 1% of all sales to the preservation and restoration of the natural environment.
Example7
Our incentives7
10-year all-inclusive warranty
We’ll replace it with a new one
Free shipping on returns
Send it back for free
Free, contactless delivery
The shipping is on us
Example8
Why you should buy from us
Free, contactless delivery
No questions asked returns
2-year warranty